Starting my Journey with Christ

All my life, I have been living in a Christian home. My dad happens to be a pastor, and my mom, a youth minister. I grew up to Sunday School, DVBC, Don Moen and Psalty. I followed rules, was rarely in trouble, and had been, in the most conventional way, a good kid. I was pretty much an "average christian boy". And along with that image of being a Christian, people would often think that I grew up with a contented heart, with a strong spirit and a steadfast faith in Jesus Christ.

But that wasn't the case. I WASN'T content. I WASN'T strong. And I most certainly WASN'T a steadfast, faithful christian boy. 

I had grown up feeling very empty and purpose-less with life---and I had NO clue as to why. I had a great family, I studied in a great school, my friends weren’t bad influences, and I had no vices at all.  I had no idea why I felt so meaningless. And so I tried to reflect on the decisions I’ve made throughout the years. My choice of friends, the way I dress, the shows I watch, everything, but still no use. There was not one decision in my life that I made that had an impact so great that it apparently sucked out all sense of "purpose-ness" and from my life.

Then, around 5 years ago, it hit me. All these feelings of emptiness didn't stem from a badly made decision, but rather from a necessary decision I NEVER ACTUALLY MADE. I had grown up in a home where Jesus Christ was the focal point of day-to-day life. I was living a life where almost ALL my decisions were based on what God would most probably say. But I forgot the most essential part of having a Christ-centered life: the choice to RECEIVE Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. 

It never occurred to me that I had been living a “boring” life because I treated all my decisions and all my actions as obligations which need to be complied and not taken to heart. I was living in a Christ-filled home, but I never had Christ as my life’s foundation. All my actions, all my choices were wobbling on the fact that I did them half-heartedly. I brushed them off like they were things that didn’t need reflection and personal input. I decided THEN and THERE that I would put Christ not just in the center of my DECISIONS, but also in the center of MY LIFE. There is that huge difference. And I felt that difference after I finally went beyond just superficially babbling the “acceptance prayer” and finally delving into having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

It felt AWESOME. It felt like that void in my heart was just right of Jesus to fill. I finally had found my life’s meaning---and I had a family to back me up for that. They prayed with me and held my hand as I started on this very-familiar-but-unbelievably-new journey with my personal Lord and Savior. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had made a decision on my own and without any household stigma pressuring me to pick a choice. Actually, I chose to get rid of that stigma and chose for myself a brand new life, and a brand new path to take.

‎As I look back on the first few years of my brand-new life with Jesus Christ, I see how much things have changed. I have been a counselor and Program staff for numerous YoungLife camps, I started to lead bible study groups, I began to reach out to kids through tutorials, and I have taken part in volunteer missions for several youth organizations. I no longer felt useless, purpose-less and meaningless. I now have a new take on life. I can finally see, feel, hear, smell, and taste the glory, the honor and the love God has given me. 

Yes, the beauty and wonder of His love may have always been there. But the difference is just that this time, I finally chose to experience them.