Seen 4/30/2014 2:34 AM

Hi.

Hey there.

What's up?

Nothin' much.

Cool. 

Haha. Well, how about you?

I'm fine. Same same.

That's nice. 

It's been pretty lonely though.

Eh?

Haha. Seriously, it's been boring.

How's that so?

Dunno. Could be a number of things.

Like what?

Like, you know, the heat---god, it's hot

I know right?!

Yeah, or because it's summer

Aren't you in class or something?

We graduated together remember?

Oh yeah. Haha.

Whatever. 

Relax, I was kidding bro.

Screw you.

The hell?! Why you "screw you"-ing me for? 

Because you're an asshole. 

Why am I an asshole?

You really wanna know?

Yeah.

Well okay. First of all, how insensitive are you to reduce me to a "bro"? Me, of all people. You don't "bro" a guy you dated for three and a half years. You don't "bro" a guy you've made out for hours with. You "bro" someone who had tagay with you one time, you "bro" a fellow tambay, you "bro" a friend, a buddy, a kabarkada. I am---or was---more than that. I deserve more than a name you call hundreds of other people. I deserve either to be ignored or to be asked for another chance. Not this. Not "bro". So no, you can never call me "bro". Or bai. Or pare. 

Okay. Sorry abo---

Shut up. I'm not done. Secondly, how dare you act like you don't remember anything about us? How we met when I needed a lab partner and you got into class too late. How we bonded over five bottles of Sparkle and packs of Sweet 'n Spicy Pancit Canton. How we got to know that you were the artsy, writing guy and I was the math dork. How we fell in love despite failing grades and INCs. How we finally got our shit together and finished college, side by side, ten rows over. How dare you forget all about the life we had as best friends, as confidants---as lovers? As much as it is over, it still happened. You don't forget stupid mistakes that easily. You ought to remember us---at least the concept of us----even if it were as regrets. 

I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to hurt you, B.

Really? You didn't? You didn't mean to purposefully degrade me to mere acquaintanceship? You didn't mean to act as if I never existed? Like I never, not even once, took part in getting you to where you are now? After everything? No? 

No, not really. And well...

Well what?!

Nothing.

Tell me.

No, never mind.

Stop screwing around. Tell me. Tell me now.

Well, I mean, you know. YOU PMed ME, remember?

Don't ever tell ANYONE--and I mean ANYONE--what I'm about to say to you

Ok, so here's the thing. I really, really, REALLY wanna tell you something. I just don't want to say it bluntly. That would be stupid and boring. And I know how you hate that.

No, really. I wanna say it NOW, I just don't wanna come off as cheap. I mean, who would want to know something like that in such an unprofessional, impulsive, uncreative way? I want to say it at the right time, at the right moment and with all the right feelings. Just to make sure I do it right.

I don't know when will that be, and neither will you. I'm planning it to be a surprise. You know, like how the time we flipped your car off the street? Yeah, THAT surprising. Like, AMAZEBALLS surprising. 

And I want you to not think about what I said and just relax and let yourself be surprised. I seriously want to see that cute face you make when you feel like you just shat bricks. Not that I want you to actually DO that. But well, you know, you get my point.

But seriously, I really hope you would be surprised. I mean, you totally deserve to be. I'm your best friend and I want the best for you. And I believe what I'm going to say would be best for you.

Well, I don't know. I mean I WANT to say it to you, but I'm not really sure you'd react and stuff. I mean, it's all mushy and stuff...

Ok, so I'm talking too much again. And there might be that off-chance of you already finding out what this "thing" I'm going to say is. But I don't care. We say things when we feel the rush of our emotions. Ugh. Gross.

Sooo yeah, I gotta go. I'll see you later? Maybe around 5? Whatever. Just text me.

Oh, and yeah, I think we should be together. Bye. 

(I had written this well over 2 years ago for someone. Haha. Youth, so stupid-inducing)